I am finding that I have less and less tolerance for complainers. I never really paid much attention before, but after going through some of the things I had to over this past year and a half, I just don’t have the patience to listen to it anymore.
I had a friend, who has been undergoing surgeries to replace metal in her legs after years of problems, tell me something yesterday that I will always remember. She has been in a lot of pain, and in my eyes has endured a great deal without a lot of complaint. She does mention now and then when something hurts, but I think that is completely understandable.
But, she told me that she had been thinking about me the night before. That she was thinking about everything I have gone through over the past year, she never once heard me complain. I admit I honestly never realized I hadn’t. I know I wanted to on more than one occasion – I wanted to complain about how unfair it was, and how I wish I could go back to being who I was before. But, complaining to friends or family wasn’t going to accomplish anything, so I just didn’t see the point.
I believe everyone has their own struggles to deal with in life. That is what life is about. We can choose to let it define who we are, and let it bury us in resentment and whining – or we can take the chance to learn from it and make the best we can out of the situation we have been dealt.
However, when I go on Facebook or have to sit and listen to people complain about how they are struggling with day to day things, and that it just isn’t fair, and that no one else in the whole world could possibly understand how horrible it is for them…..the truth is, it is very hard for me to hold my tongue.
I get that maybe being a single parent isn’t easy. Of course it isn’t. But, there are many single parents out there dealing with it every day. Some of them may even be facing more challenges – maybe they have a sick child, or are fighting for their lives themselves.
And, I understand that sometimes you are overwhelmed with the fact that you have 7 kids, a husband who is away for work, and bills to pay due to buying a brand new house…….yep – that is rough.
But guess what? Until you have had to fight for your life, fight for the opportunity to watch your kids grow up, fight, and do whatever you had to do – including digging yourself into thousands of dollars of debt and hoping you can somehow afford to keep a roof over your heads – to even just be given the chance to spend a few more years with your kids…..I really don’t have the time to listen to your complaints.
I know that everyone goes through rough patches and sometimes it can be so hard to just keep going. I have been there myself. And, I am not here to say that my troubles are any worse than the next person, or that I am a better person for not complaining about it. I am just as guilty as the next guy, I am sure.
I completely understand how hard it is to face all of these challenges. My husband is a truck driver, so even during most of my treatments and surgeries, I have done the single parenting thing.
I know all about being so broke you just don’t know how you are going to pay all your bills. I am pretty sure there is no way my husband and I will ever dig ourselves out from this past year. Being sick costs a lot of money – and we will have to face this every day for a very long time.
But – I just can’t find it in me to feel sorry for you when you are complaining about things that everyone has to deal with in their own way. Be thankful for what you have for crying out loud! Yes, you may have a lot of struggles, but most of you have a roof over your heads, food on the table, and healthy children. There are a lot more people out there who don’t have even that.
If there is something in your life that is giving you problems, most of the time, you have options. Sell something you have to pay off some bills, (maybe you have a brand new camper – guess what! That is money sitting right there!!) Or, maybe cut out some extra-curricular activities if you are a single parent struggling to keep up with everything. I know sometimes these are things you don’t want to have to do, but remember…you have the choice and the power to fix things.
Life isn’t easy for anyone, (unless maybe you are Oprah, although I am sure she has her own struggles she deals with every day too!) But, most of these problems have solutions that while they may not be perfect, will help you.
However, when you or someone you love is fighting every day to survive, and sometimes the options they are offered will dramatically change their lives forever – that is when you will realize that all the other stuff before was just that…..stuff. And that in the big picture, can all be managed without needing to complain to everyone who will listen about how unfair things are for you.
So – the point of my rant I guess comes down to a quote I believe sums it up perfectly:
“No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.”